i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
