Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
