Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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