Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
