CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
