I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
