if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
