I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
