My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
