I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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