I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is my gift to your gina
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
