Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

you didn't get her number why?

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(804): View more from Virginia

he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"

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