I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
