Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
