STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sarcasm needs its own font
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize