My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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