Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
