I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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