Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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