Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
