where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
