this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
