Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
