please come you make the beer taste better
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
