I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
