She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I touched a dick in church today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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