i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize