If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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