What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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