Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
