Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
