is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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