South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize