i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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