If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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