That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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