I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
