Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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