woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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