Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize