Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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