I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize