i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
