We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
