you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
