But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
