the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
