Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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