dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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