I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
