Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize