When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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