I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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