Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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