Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
