Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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