the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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