She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
