whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
