I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
