32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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