I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize