About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
