yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
